Single and Pregnant: 13 Tips For Coping With Pregnancy

There are lots of reasons why women become single parents. Whether you chose to walk the path of parenthood alone, or have unexpectedly ended up in this situation, you may feel worried about how you will face pregnancy, birth and motherhood without the support of a partner. At other times you may feel confident, empowered, and ready to take on the world as a single parent. Mixed emotions are normal during pregnancy, and you will experience good days and bad.

Pregnancy is a daunting time, but single pregnancy can be that little bit harder to navigate as you deal with worries and major decisions alone. The following tips may help you to survive pregnancy as a single woman:

Single and Pregnant Tip #1: Accept Help 

You really don’t need to do this all on your own. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. All you need, is for you and your baby to be happy and healthy, and that means you might need to accept help every now and then. If you are suffering with morning sickness, accept your mother’s offer of doing your laundry. If your back aches in your third trimester, accept all offers of hoovering and other high intensity household duties. There is no such thing as ‘SuperMum’. You need to take care of yourself first, in order to take care of your baby. The cleaning can wait.

Single and Pregnant Tip #2: Find Some Support 

The one thing that single mothers lack, is the support of a partner. Thats it. It may not sound huge, but it can make pregnancy extra tough for single women. In place of a partner, you will need a support network to help you throughout pregnancy and motherhood. This support network could consist of friends, family and strangers online. You will need people you can turn to for reassurance and sympathy after a tough day, and people to share your hopes and dreams with. Your network should be your own personal dream team – experts in providing emotional and physical support to you as and when necessary.

I joined a Single Parent support group on Facebook, whereby all single parents share views and opinions as well as giving support. During my 14 weeks pregnancy, I was so depressed that I broke down in the restroom at work, because i had held it in too much trying to be strong. I didn't know who speak to, turn to, or rant. So I just posted my thoughts and situation in that Single Parent FB page. The replies and comments i got in return, really gave me a BIG push. Single parents who went through the same thing shared their stories, encouraged me, motivated me, and told me that I can do it too. That's when i felt that, I'm not alone. And since then, those encouragement has kept me going......
If you are a single parent, join the Facebook group here!
Single Parents in Singapore by theAsianparent.com

Single and Pregnant Tip #3: Find Some Single Mum Friends 

Everybody wants to feel accepted, and to have people understand what they are going through. Make sure you have at least a couple of single mum friends who can relate to your day-to-day life, and share the highs and lows of single parenting with you. The best way to meet other single mums is to join single parents forum or single parents group on social media liked the one i mentioned above.
I had made friends with some single moms through that page, and despite being strangers, they checked me out once in a while to see how i'm doing and how's my baby. It really touched my heart.

Single and Pregnant Tip #4: Ask For Flexibility

If you are suffering from fatigue, sickness, aches and the many other potential pregnancy symptoms out there, you may find yourself struggling to keep up with your work. Whether you are taking more sick days, going in late after a restless night, or struggling to keep your head out of the toilet all day, your work may be suffering. Ask your employer for flexibility. Explain that you are finding things tough, tell them what you are actually going through, and suggest ways that your employer could help you to maintain your usual workload. For example, could you work from home some days to cut down your commute? Or could you have a work from the back of house to avoid being in the front line in case of the stress you will face? Don’t be afraid to ask your employer for flexibility, most employers are more than happy to make changes to help employees in need.

Single and Pregnant Tip #5: Preloved Baby Items/Blessings

Supporting your child financially on your own isn't easy. So save some extra bucks! There are FB pages whereby mommies are selling preloved baby goods at cheap prices, or some are even giving away baby items as blessings to other mommies in need (single mom/low income family). In future, when your child has outgrown the clothes and items, you can sell them on those pages too.
Preloved Baby Goods By theAsianparent.com
Preloved Baby Goods SG
You can also find alot of used baby items in Carousell. 

Single and Pregnant Tip #6: Get Financial Help (Child Support)

Single parents are entitled to financial help in Singapore. You are eligible to receive Child Maintenance from the biological father of the baby whether you are married or unwed. Please keep this in mind, that whether you feel you need the money or not, it is always worth finding out exactly what you could claim for, and how much this would amount to. Because you will never know what challenges you will face in the future. Children do fall sick and medical bills in Singapore aren't cheap. Claim the most of what you can and those money can be used on medical bills, childcare fees, child insurance, child savings for studies etc.

Single and Pregnant Tip #7: Get Legal Help 

If there is a father in the picture, you may want to get legal help to ensure your rights are protected. If he wants to be involved, you may find it useful to have a professional help you map out how visitations and finances will work once the baby arrives. If you have an uncomplicated relationship, you may be able to sort this out without the help of lawyers, but if not, it’s always worth turning to the experts for advice. If money is an issue, some organisations offer free legal advice, for example Legal Aid Bureau in Singapore.

Single and Pregnant Tip #8: Choose A Birth Partner 

A birth partner can offer invaluable support to you during labour. A birth partner doesn’t have to be a partner, it could be a friend or family member. Some women choose to ask their mum, sister or best friend to accompany them throughout the delivery. It may seem like a big ask, but most people are honoured to be invited to be part of such a wonderful experience. Once you’ve decided who you would like to be your birth partner, set out some ground rules. They will need to be available at all times in case you go into labour, and have a clear idea of what you’d like them to do in the delivery room.

Single and Pregnant Tip #9: Hire A Doula 

Doulas are trained birth professionals who offer support to women during pregnancy, labour and childbirth. Acting as a professional birth partner, your doula will be able to guide you throughout labour and support you through each contraction. Doulas can help you focus on your breathing, massage your back, fetch you water – they’re basically the birth partner of your dreams. You can choose to hire a doula to act as your birth partner, or to work alongside your chosen birth partner during the birth. If money is an issue, you could hire a recently qualified (trainee) doula who may be more willing to negotiate on rates. Find out more about Doulas of Singapore here.

Single and Pregnant Tip #10: Focus On The Positives 

While it’s true that some aspects of pregnancy will be more difficult alone, there are some positives to facing parenthood by yourself. For starters, you won’t need to compromise on names. Nobody is going to veto the baby names you love, or force names you hate into the equation. You’ll also get to choose how to raise your child – and won’t need to compromise on parenting styles. Settle in and enjoy bonding with your bump, and soon-to-be baby. Keep telling yourself, that this little one inside you is a gift from heaven, and will definitely bring joy into your life.

Single and Pregnant Tip #11: Celebrate Your Pregnancy and Baby

There are so many ways you can celebrate being pregnant, which may help to lift your spirits. Some ideas include:

• Pregnant belly painting 
• Having a baby shower 
• Getting a belly cast to remember your bump forever (you can buy a DIY kit or have someone do it for you) 
• Getting some professional pregnancy photography 

Single and Pregnant Tip #12: Go On A Babymoon!

Get away from it all. Don't have a honeymoon? Go on a babymoon! Take a holiday somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, locally or afar. If you need to fly, make sure you get the okay from your doctor, especially if you plan on taking a break late in the third trimester. The best time to go for a babymoon during pregnancy would be during your second trimester, when most pregnancy symptoms in early pregnancy stage already subsides, and baby bump isn't too big for you to travel around which will tire you out easily, as well as frequent restroom visits.

Single and Pregnant Tip #13: Believe In Yourself 

All pregnant women feel scared at some point. Your life is about to change, you are about to become a mother – of course that’s scary. There’s nothing wrong with feeling worried about motherhood. It is, however, important to stay positive. You will be an amazing mother, and you will be a great role model in independence for your child. Having a partner doesn’t make you a better parent, and you’ll do an amazing job all by yourself. Well, with the help of your friends and family, who will be there to support you at every turn. 

It’s not going to be easy, but, its definitely going to be worth it.